Next, many times growing up I felt like a huge wuss because of how sensitive I am. Shoot, I still feel like that at times now. To get more to the point, I don't want my son to feel ashamed of his nature either. I must confess that at times I have caught myself trying to "toughen him up." God convicted me that this is not His will. It didn't work when people did it with me and it won't work with Maz either. It actually just communicates the idea that something is wrong and therefore that shame is warranted. In trying to protect him from the pain I felt most of my life I have actually begun perpetuating the same cycle in him. I should instead focus on making sure that he knows that God made him to be unique with a plan made just for him and that there is nothing in the world that he should fear because God is ALWAYS with him. Thank you God for showing me this now. Please undo any harm I may have already done and help me to represent Your image as a father.
Still going, I realized again today that I expect God to expect me to know everything. When my boss told me that he was pleased with me so far that I just needed to keep learning, improving and pushing myself to be better it came as a complete shock. I thought because he was my authority figure that he was just upset with me for everything I did that was not perfect and that he would not be happy with me until I was perfect. (Please understand that I am speaking in terms of the hidden beliefs of my heart, which rarely ever coincide with what I know to be true in my head.) God revealed to me that I would never expect Maz to have everything figured out, especially if he had never encountered something before. As revealed above, I don't always get it right with my son, but I definitely enjoy explaining things to him when he asks me about things he doesn't understand. He's five. He's not supposed to know everything at least until he's a teenager and thinks that he doesn't need me anymore. My point is that if I can understand that God is definitely better at keeping things in perspective about letting me learn as I go and that what really matters is how we enjoy one another as I grow, peace will abound. I think that's what He is getting at.
Lastly, I just had to share this. I read an article at comeandlive.com today that had a great quote at it's close. It's by a guy named Josh Dies who is a singer/songwriter, both solo and in the band Showbread. He was talking about how this time around on tour they got a little closer to actually doing it for the purpose of glorifying God and telling people about Jesus. They were more intentional about how they interacted with both their fans and the other bands they toured with. They spent time praying and fellowshipping after every show. They saw people healed, poured their hearts out to God on behalf of family members of people that asked for them to be prayed for, and saw the Spirit bring conviction on people to change their lives. He said that after nine years of touring, they actually started looking forward to their shows again. This is how he ended that article:
Every day I read theologians and scholars pour over the Bible in an endless effort to unravel it’s endless layers. On paper, theology is captivating, it stirs the heart and mind and seizes the imagination. In person, theology is devastating, it shocks a man to his very core to see with his own eyes and feel in his very bones the truth that prayer changes reality and that Jesus, God of the universe, is moving in the world today.
The current of this movement is one I simply must be swept away in.
I agree.
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