I remember a time a year or two ago when I was invited to go to a large men's conference hosted in a Chicago suburb. I went because I wanted to honor and try to grow my relationship with the man that invited me, even though I had very little interest in the conference itself. I've been there, done that, and my life has always remained largely unchanged, thus making those type of events a waste of time to my mind. I went anyway, because who knows. Maybe this time it will be different I told myself.
It wasn't. The whole experience only increased my growing distaste for and lack of ability to trust the institutional church in America. I really did try to find God while I was there, but I was too busy trying not to throw up in my mouth from all of performance based freedom that was being preached. If you just try harder, set better limits, and spend more time seeking the Lord for freedom you'll be the strong man that God has called you to be. (Family Feud "X" popping across the screen right now)
So on the way home from the event, we stopped at an Applebee's with several other guys from the Michiana area who went also. As the conversations progressed someone suggested we go around the table and share our testimonies. My heart sank. I still feel just as bound today as I ever have. I've not been set free from anything. What am I supposed to testify about? I was one of the last people around the table, and when it came to be my turn I just said that I was still struggling with some stuff and didn't think it was appropriate for me to share when I could not pin point what God was doing in my life. I have always struggled with this when it comes to testimonies. Why share all the good God has done in my life in the past when I just keep ending up back in the pit of my own sin?
Several of the guys tried to encourage me to share, like they thought I was just being bashful, but I persisted on my pass. One young man went so far as to tell me that I needed to get on my knees and seek Jesus right away because he thought that if I couldn't pin point something worthy of testifying about that I was not actually saved.
Let's fast forward to a couple of meetings into the new gathering God led me to. We talked a lot about the book of Galatians one night and it struck home for the first time. Any time in the past when someone would talk to me about Galatians 5:1 which says, "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." I always took it as a command to get free from sin in my life. (Another huge "X" here)
This is where it gets good. We talked about the enormity of God's love. We talked about how it is only from God loving us first that we are even capable of responding with any kind of goodness at all. Only by receiving the FREE GIFT of salvation and the Holy Spirit can we know God. Only by knowing (experiencing!) Him, by a continual reception of this gift will any of us ever be able to walk by the Spirit. After all, if any amount of keeping the law could have set us free, then Jesus would not have had to die for us.
The blood covering from Jesus' sacrifice is so complete that every sin ever committed past or future is already forgiven for those who believe in Him and choose to receive His gift. I have heard it said that sin separates us from God, and while that is true of the unbeliever, Romans tells us that nothing can separate the believer from the love of God. NOTHING! It doesn't nothing except sin; it says nothing. His arms are always waiting to welcome us in, especially when we have blown it. It is then that we most need Him, and He knows this. Our sin does not scare Him. Again I say it is only through letting Him fill us with His love that we will ever be able to turn our hearts away from sin. Sure you may be able to change your behavior for a season, or maybe indefinitely, but God is not after your behavior. He is after your heart! If you stop doing whatever sin it is you love to commit, but you still love it and want to do it, have you really been changed? Are you really free? It is only after you can do whatever you want to and you choose Jesus anyway because you now see that there really is nothing better than being loved by Him that you are truly free. You will never get to that point until you let Him love you in spite of the sins that you love. It has to start with knowing that His love is so great that even on your worst and most sinful day His love for you will not change. His arms will be just as open and ready to clean us up. He is not angry with you. He will not strike you down or turn you away. The law has been fulfilled through Jesus. All that is left now is for us to quit believing the deceptions that the enemy gets us to believe to keep us from turning to the only one who can fill us. Receive the gift that can never be earned, then keep receiving it every day. Don't ever try to earn it again!
His yoke really is easy and His burden really is light. Never again will I try to be good enough for Him, because He has all the goodness that is needed for the both of us. It is now my aim just to be with Him and let Him fill me with His love. Fear will be progressively cast out, kindness and courage will become more and more of a natural response and hell won't stand a chance.
