I'm Sorry that I'm Not Sorry At All

How many times have I seen it as a parent?  I speak to my son about a behavior in his life that I don't like and his immediate response is, "I'm sorry."  This response is usually accompanied by a look of fear in his eyes.  Is trouble coming?  What will the consequences be?  This breaks my heart.  As I see more and more of the Father's love for me, I am able to purely love Maz more as well.  I am starting to care less and less about him doing what is right and obedient to me and more about him doing what will be best for his heart in relation to the Lord.  Many times these two things look almost exactly alike.  I am not saying that I am done teaching my son obedience and right living.  I am just done teaching him to obey me for the sake of him respecting me.  I want him to obey me because God says it is right for him to do so and he will be blessed because of it.  I want him to make good choices because he will incur less hurt in his own life this way and have a clearer path to a genuine relationship with the Lord when he is older.

More to the point, I started to realize just how many things in my life I do just because I am afraid of God being angry with me if I mess up.  They are not holy or good actions because they are born of flesh, not faith.  This fear has stunted my growth and choked out the true life that God has designed for me for years.  So many do's and don'ts that have been imposed by a religious institution fuel this.  In the zeal to create right behaviors, hearts have been imprisoned in fear and thus led astray.  Does it really matter if you do the right thing if you do it for the wrong reasons?  I think the parable of the prodigal son suggests otherwise.  

So here's the deal:  I cannot possibly keep every command of the Bible.  I never have and I never will, but God is still passionately in love with me.  So what should I do?  I will work out my own salvation by following the Spirit's guidance in my life.  When God says, "Okay son, it's time to set that aside now."  then I will set it aside.  When he says, "It's time to serve Me in this manner now." then I will.  I will obey in the confidence that He will speak to me and correct what He wants corrected in His time.  (see Is 30:19-22.  Interesting how the people do not cast down their idols until AFTER they hear the voice of their loving teacher guiding them in the path.)

Until then, I will enjoy my life just as it is and trust Him to change my heart.  So, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry at all.