I'm Sorry that I'm Not Sorry At All

How many times have I seen it as a parent?  I speak to my son about a behavior in his life that I don't like and his immediate response is, "I'm sorry."  This response is usually accompanied by a look of fear in his eyes.  Is trouble coming?  What will the consequences be?  This breaks my heart.  As I see more and more of the Father's love for me, I am able to purely love Maz more as well.  I am starting to care less and less about him doing what is right and obedient to me and more about him doing what will be best for his heart in relation to the Lord.  Many times these two things look almost exactly alike.  I am not saying that I am done teaching my son obedience and right living.  I am just done teaching him to obey me for the sake of him respecting me.  I want him to obey me because God says it is right for him to do so and he will be blessed because of it.  I want him to make good choices because he will incur less hurt in his own life this way and have a clearer path to a genuine relationship with the Lord when he is older.

More to the point, I started to realize just how many things in my life I do just because I am afraid of God being angry with me if I mess up.  They are not holy or good actions because they are born of flesh, not faith.  This fear has stunted my growth and choked out the true life that God has designed for me for years.  So many do's and don'ts that have been imposed by a religious institution fuel this.  In the zeal to create right behaviors, hearts have been imprisoned in fear and thus led astray.  Does it really matter if you do the right thing if you do it for the wrong reasons?  I think the parable of the prodigal son suggests otherwise.  

So here's the deal:  I cannot possibly keep every command of the Bible.  I never have and I never will, but God is still passionately in love with me.  So what should I do?  I will work out my own salvation by following the Spirit's guidance in my life.  When God says, "Okay son, it's time to set that aside now."  then I will set it aside.  When he says, "It's time to serve Me in this manner now." then I will.  I will obey in the confidence that He will speak to me and correct what He wants corrected in His time.  (see Is 30:19-22.  Interesting how the people do not cast down their idols until AFTER they hear the voice of their loving teacher guiding them in the path.)

Until then, I will enjoy my life just as it is and trust Him to change my heart.  So, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry at all.

Strong

Nehemiah chapter eight verse ten is the famous one that says, "the joy of the Lord is your strength."

What the heck does that even mean anyway?  I've always just nodded along when this has been preached because it sounds great, but I've never experienced any life changing power from the truth that God must be trying to communicate.  Therefore, (yeah, I just pulled a Paul right there) I must be missing what this is really trying to say.  I've always heard it preached as a get off your butt and do what you are supposed to be doing because the joy of the Lord is your strength.  Amazing how we can turn God's joy into a burden.  That can't be right.

God has been bringing this verse to my mind all night, so I looked it up in the context of the overall outline of the book of Nehemiah and read through the chapter.  So here is my summation:

     God has sent his children back to reclaim Jerusalem after the captivity of 70 years.  Nehemiah led the people to victory over their enemies that tried to defeat them and stop them from building the walls of Jerusalem.  Chapter 8 picks up after the walls are built and the people have gone through a census.  Nehemiah has Ezra stand up and read the law from morning until the afternoon to all of the people that were of sound mind and able to understand it.  Verse 8 says they spent time translating it to everyone to make sure they understood it.  The response of the people to the law was weeping and mourning.  God's immediate response was to tell the people to feast.  To not weep because it was a holy day to him.  He was joyful and wanted His people to be also.  From here it is observed that Ezra and the Levitical priests were having a pow wow and discovered the text about the feast of booths.  They immediately began making ready to construct booths for all the people and proceed to celebrate the festival of booths (which was an observance to remind the people about wandering in the desert and celebrating God giving them the promised land.  Isn't God's timing amazing!)  This was the first time it had been celebrated since the time of Joshua which was many years earlier.  They read the scriptures and feasted for the week of the festival and had a solemn assembly on the eighth day.

This blew me away!  They are just getting settled in the new blessing of being free from slavery and taking possession of God's promise.  They want to start right so they inquire of the Lord on how to set a good foundation for the rebuilding of His community.  The law is read and immediately weeping ensues because the people know they are guilty.  God in His mercy says, "Don't weep!  Let's party!  I'm so glad to have you home!"

The joy of the Lord, His position of being delighted in them was their position of shelter, refuge and security.  The word strength here is better translated stronghold.  One of the definitions even means helmet.  I know my mind is definitely safe and protected when I think about God delighting in me.

WOW!

From now on I will always hear, "God being delighted in you is your safe place."

I feel invincible right now!

We know that all who are redeemed by the blood of Jesus are constantly be delighted in by the Father.  He loves us so much that He brought us into a place of perpetual safety and shelter:  His arms.  So wonderful!  Also the following chapters were the repentance of the people and the ratification of the covenant with them.  God's joy in His children led them to genuine repentance after He released them from the burdens of the law.  Again, the repentance did not come from the knowledge of the law, but rather from the knowledge of how great God's mercy was to release them from that guilt.  To top it all off God puts His seal on them and claims them again as His people through covenant.

What a wonderful, loving God I serve!